


Grace of My Dying Heart

by Tordyy



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Love Confessions, Self-Discovery, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2180475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tordyy/pseuds/Tordyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was- is you Ami. You were the one who stole my heart. You were so beautiful, shy. and caring. You warmed my heart in ways I thought were going to be ice forever." His voice was strong as the words flowed from his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grace of My Dying Heart

Prince Saphir laid in a large four post bed with silk canopy curtains. He stared at the shiny cloth that hung all around him. He had counted all the crevices in the fabric above him. Two thousand six hundred and nine exactly. Prince Demando had brought him back to life, if only for a short time. Demando had not left his side unless necessary. Apparently, Wiseman had called upon his eldest brother for some “important” business. Saphir snorted, still even on his death bed, his brother refused to see that he was being used. However, Saphir believed it was coming clear to him. Saphir knew he was lucky that the Wiseman had let Demando revive him. Saphir as careful with his words when his brother was in the room.

Saphir did not like it when he was alone in this cold, crystal castle. Not after he had seen the warmth and happiness of Pezt’s house. Another thing that made Saphir’s insides twist. He had used her, told her he was coming back. Which even if he was in good health after talking to Demando he still would have not went back. Pezt had been nothing but a servant to tend to his needs. He was aware of her affection back then and was very aware of it now. His heart was set on someone else. It was not his choice to whom he loved, it was something that happened to every male back home.

Home? Where was home? This palace that he has lived in for years did not feel like a home. It did not even feel like a house. Saphir liked living on a dirt floor with his younger brothers and sisters and Demando. Loving parents, a warm home, a normal childhood. However, they were born on Nemesis, a realm in the Negaverse. It was their great grand-father who was exiled for disobeying the Moon Queen, but generations later they still suffered. As many others, with their black crescent moons that marked where they were from. Everyone in the universe will know where they are from and that they will only bring trouble. Being one of the most hated creatures in the universe makes it so easy to hate the universe itself. However, Saphir now knows it is hate that brought him to his death. He had realized too late. That is what he regret the most. He prayed to the Moon Queen, to his Dark Lord, to the God the insignificant humans worshiped that he could see his love. Just a glimpse and he would die happy.

It was an odd feeling, dying. He could feel himself growing weaker even though he was not doing anything. How much time did he have left? Days? Hours? Minutes? He thought fearfully, seconds? He did not know, so he was making amends now. He was putting his demons away. He had to realize what he was, what his is, and what he would have been. If he did not, when he died he would not be able to ascend to a better place. He could not find this place on Earth or in Nemesis, maybe he could achieve it in the afterlife. Everything he tried so hard to run away from for so long he was facing with nothing but his knowledge as a weapon.

His first demon was not knowing what he had till he saw it burn down in front of him. His mother’s name was Jade and his father’s was Eben. Other than Demando and himself there were four others. Amber, Parees, Giza, and the youngest of only 2 winters Kinion. His ignorance and selfish childish wants is what caused his family to write a fate worse than death. Luckily, from what Saphir was told they did not suffer long. For power and a way out the two eldest boys sold their parents, two sisters and two brothers to Negaverse slavery. Saphir was only twelve at the time he knew better than to get involved with evil magic. Saphir closed his eyes only to regret doing so. Images of his families betrayed faces played across his closed lids. Each face was a stab to the heart, soul, mind, and pride. Saphir and his brother found themselves working for Queen Beryl for the rest of their young teen years. She was cruel and heartless. The only good thing out of that was Saphir learned how to extended his power so they would be useful, and Demando had discovered red wine.

Saphir could remember the first time Demando had red wine. Never had he seen his brother so worked up over something so small. Demando’s outlet was red wine and luxueries provided by the Dark Queen. Queen Beryl took such a liking to Demando that she began to teach him things that Saphir still does not know. This made him jealous. He saw red every time Queen Beryl would ask to see his brother. He thought he was not good enough. The truth was, Demando was just more naive and easier to manipulate then Saphir. Saphir put much thought into everything he did, whereas more times than not Demando acted impulsively and childishly. After their 5 year servitude was done, they had no where to go. They wandered the Negaverse, unable to leave because they did not hold that level of power. Just a seventeen year old Saphir and Twenty year old Demando against the universe at the time. Demando would get food from them using his power that Queen Beryl taught him. The were on their own until they came across the Wiseman a year ago. By that time, Saphir was a jealous, paranoid twenty year old. Saphir realized, just then while lying in the bed, that he had been a jealous fool all his life. He hated the White Moon Kingdom because they had everything he wanted as a child, in his teens he was jealous of his brother for getting something he worked hard for, even when they joined Wiseman he was jealous that he was not the main piece in this game. He was an obtuse dolt! Saphir shook his head, that was who he was. That was how people who remember him as. The fool who was lucky enough to have a loving home in the darkest place in the universe and threw it all away because his brother and some stranger had promised something “better”.

Who did that make him now? How did he feel? He felt angry, sadness, hurt, betrayal, pain, weak, depression, longing, acceptance, relief, shock just too many feeling for him to sort out. He wasn’t sure if exploring his feelings would help find out who he is- but it’s a start.

Why did he feel anger, betrayal, and hurt? He felt anger that his own brother did not believe him. After all they had been threw! Twenty-one years of brotherhood. Demando was his best friend, his only friend for so long. It was like watching the faces of his family, it stabbed him in places he didn’t know could hurt. Why did he feel Weak and Pain? That was quite obvious. Saphir did not expect death to be painless. He believed death was life’s last way to make you suffer for all you have done. Saphir knows he deserves every ounce of pain he was receiving. Why did he feel Acceptance, relief, shock? Saphir looked deep inside himself, he accepted this. There was no point in fighting a battle he already lost. The reviving spell will wear off eventually and he will fade into the darkness. He was relieved, this was the end. No more good and evil, no more battles and wars over the moon, no more running or trying to find a place he belongs. He will no longer be confused but content and at peace. This reassured Saphir a little. He will ascend to a better place in universe. However, twenty-one? Death was coming all to soon and no matter how calmly or reasonable Saphir took this there was a part of him that did not want to die! The part of them that wanted to keep fighting, the part of him that was scared that all awaited him was darkness and nothing else. He blinked rapidly. Trying to blink away the tears of fear that pooled in his blue eyes. He will not cry on his death bed. Saphir refused.

Now the sadness, depression, and longing. He knew very well what those feelings were. He wanted to see her. He had seen her hanging around the Sailor Moon girl frequently. Only when Demando was looking for Sailor Mooin his globe did Saphir look to see if Usagi was with her as well. Five times out of ten she was. He warmed his heart to see her. It was her that caused him to second guess his choice to join the Wiseman. It was her that made him care more. Saphir had become an empty object, just someone who was simply there. However, unlike his brother he did not stalk her by using his powers. Actually he knew very little about her. He knew her name, that she cared for her friends, and she was very intelligent. It was enough for him to be casted under her charm. He sighed, he would never get to talk to her now. Seeing as he couldn't walk. There were no feeling in his legs anymore. They had become numb some hours ago. That’s how he knew his time was coming soon. He would not last much longer in this world.  
If you have as much mercy as the humans say, please show grace on my dying heart, He pleaded staring at the celling. He turned his head to look at the door that was located across the room. He stared at intensely. His heart in his throat, filled with hope. Disappointed rung through him like a bell. He knew who he was. He was a fool who thought he could get a girl who deserved much better then a lair like himself. He was a man who was just finding the light. He was a man who had fallen in love against his will, he was a man of the Nemesis who wanted to be a man of Earth. He fell asleep looking at the door wished for just one glance. He would find out who he was to be when he woke.  
____________________________________________________________________

He awoke to banging. A frantic voice calling out for someone. A small gloved hand was pushing his door opened. Then She stepped in, with a look of absolute desperation on her face. She slammed the door shut, the force vibrating the crystal walls and making Saphir wince. She was breathless, panting with a hand on her chest. Saphir watched with great interest. His head titled to the side. What in the Dark Lord’s name was she running from? He had never seen her at such a disarray. She didn’t seem to notice him there. How she failed to see the gigantic bed when she first swept over the room with her eyes, he will never know. When she finally did notice him she let out a gasp.  
“It is quite alright Sailor Mercury. I will not hurt you, if anything I should be fearing you.” He let out a small chuckle.

“Prince Saphir! I thought you were dead!” She gasped. She noticed how he winced when she said ‘dead’. She quickly added, “I apologize, Prince Saphir. That was awfully rude of me.” Ami blushed and looked down ashamed. The polite gesture made her look incredibly cute to Saphir. Even though her words had stung him a little, he could not hold it against her.

“No need to apologize, although the gesture is greatly appreciated.” He smiled at her. A true, natural smile that has not been graced upon his face in a long time. Ami blushed and looked down at her gloved hands. Under his intense gaze she felt very shy. She just couldn’t understand why he was looking at her so fondly. He gasped in pain, his hand clutched his side instantly, his eyes going wide. Ami rushed over to him without a second thought. Someone was in pain and it was her job as a Sailor Scout to help him.

Saphir could not recall ever feeling so much pain other than dying the first time. It could have possibly been worse then the first time. This was going to happen slowly. Now he was taken by fear. He accepted he was going to die, but he never thought he was going to be alone. He was sure that Ami was going to leave him to go help her friends. She did not have a few minutes to spare on him when the world was in danger.

“Is there anything I can do to help you Prince Saphir?!” She asked frantically, her hands ghosting over his chest and arms unsure whether it was alright to touch him or not. He grabbed her hands, the rapid movement was making him sick. He gave her a small, forced smile.

“There is nothing you can do. It is only a temporary revival spell. I will die soon Sailor Mercury-” She was going to interrupt him, but her beat her to it-”I have accepted my fate, Little One. I can only wait.” The last word came out as a gasp for another wave of pain his him. Soon, he thought, I will die soon.

“Prince Saphir-”

“Just Saphir, no need or formalities Sailor-”

Just as he interrupted her she had prevented him from finished by going, “Just Ami, no need formalities, Saphir.” Her blue eyes gave a shy twinkle of amusement. He returned the smile. Saphir had let go of her hands now, if he held them any longer she would think him wrong. However, Ami had not noticed that he still held her small hands until he let go.

“You must go Ami. I am certain your friends will need your help to defeat Wiseman and save Chibi-usa.” He frowned at the thought of her leaving, but she was needed else where.

“Is there someone that will stay with you?” She asked with such sincerity that it warmed his drowning heart. She cared for him. Even if it was care she would give anyone, he could pretend that she was concerned for him like he was someone important in her life.

“No, not unless Demando comes back. I have a feeling that he is busy with Usagi? I have a feeling that my brother was not able to help himself and kidnapped Usagi, didn't he. You and the other Sailor Scouts must have run into the guards in your search.”

Ami stared at him, stunned. He had summed up the past thirty minutes of her life, without any hints to what she was doing. Then again, busting in here like a bat out of hell was a big clue that something was after her. All she could do is nod.

“Do not fear Little One, my brother will not harm Usagi. Never will he dream of doing so. He is a victim of impritation.” Saphir sighed and sagged against the pillows. Now, Ami was fascinated about what he meant.

“What do you mean Saphir?” It still felt odd calling him Saphir. He was a prince of Nemesis for heaven’s sake!

“You see, males from the Negaverse will see this girl, she could be from anywhere in the universe, and be attracted to her. It is unexplainable to describe ones infatuation with the girl. All of a sudden she is all you can think about. Your judgement is blurred till one can no longer tell what is right and wrong. If you are lucky and imprint on one who is young then you have a greater chance of winning her over. However, Demando had imprinted on Usagi and she is in love with Mamoru.”

Ami nodded slowly. She was processing what Saphir had just told her. She had felt a surge of pity towards Prince Demando. To love someone who will never love you, she couldn’t image how that would feel. She had never really been in “love” as the other four girls claimed the have. They all went puppy dog eyed at anything with abs. Ami would too, but to herself and in her head. It wasn’t that she was stuck up, she was just to shy and embarrassed to share he opinion most of the time. Lately, she had not taken any interested in any boys. She was not.....going for the other time, not at all. They just didn’t spark anything. She felt as if she were missing something.

“Does this affect the girl in anyway?” Ami asked. Saphir nodded solemnly and thoughtfully. Ami had not noticed but she was now sitting on the bed right next to Saphir.

 

“Immensely! Even before the girl is aware that she had been imprinted on, she will waned interest in other males. Mood swings are common as are lack of attention for things. The women would just seem a tad bit off.” He explained calmly.

“What if she rejects him, because she had another lover?”

“That would depend on who she was attracted to most.”

“So Usagi could do-” Ami coughed from embarrassment and paused. Saphir made no facial expression that he would judge her or think she has done wrong. In fact he waited slightly for her to go on, so she did- “Do something uh unsuitable?” Saphir gave an honest chuckle at the blue haired girls discomfort in the question.

“Do not be embarrassed in front of me Little One. But to answer your question, yer Usagi may do something less than adequate. I do not doubt her love for Mamoru. I suspect the worst that will occur is a kiss, maybe two.” Saphir gently comforted Ami. She looked at him warily, worried for her friend. Saphir gave her a smile and her her heart did a little flip. She did not notice before how beautiful his eyes were. Even at death’s door his midnight blue eyes shinned brightly. His skin was deathly pale and his hare did not have the same sheen as a healthy person but he was still good-looking.

“Saphir, did you imprint on anyone before- before this?” Ami asked innocently. Saphir had not excepted her to ask a question like that! Oh, full of surprises his Little One was.

“I am not sure if I should tell you.” Before she could assure him that it was no big deal and that he didn’t have to he went one. His eyes casted down at his hands. “Not out of indignation as we are or were enemies in a way, but out of fear because of that animosity that our people hold for each other. I do not wish to die alone Ami.” He looked at her with his midnight blue eyes pleading for her to understand. The intensity of his eyes made her loss for words.

“However, the fear of not telling who She is may be bigger then the fear of telling you. I am going to be dead so if you could promise me one thing before I tell you, it would mean the universe to me.” He looked at her threw his lashes. He looked like a child who has been punished one too many times. Ami found her self nodded before she could even really consider what she was doing.

“Do not leave me alone to die. There is nothing in this world worst then dying alone.” He pleaded. Ami understood this. No one wanted to die alone. It was something she wouldn't wish even on her worst of enemies.

“I am not heartless, I won’t leave you alone Saphir.” Ami promised solemnly.

He looked at her. This was the moment, his one and only chance. He just wished it wasn’t before he was about to die. He took a hold of her tiny hands in his large ones. His almost completely covered hers. He leaned a little bit closer to her.

“It was- is you Ami. You were the one who stole my heart. I saw you while Demando was looking at Usagi. You were so beautiful, shy. and caring. You warmed my heart in ways I thought were going to be ice forever. I love you Ami, I understand if you don’t love me back.” He voice flowed strong as he spoke. It did not shake once but did quiet down towards the end, as if he feared the words.

Ami had gaped at him. He had imprinted on her. She was not sure how one was suppose to feel when they had just been imprinted on. She was not repulsed, so she took that as a good sign. However, she wasn’t thrilled. Wasn’t a girl suppose to be happy when a male romantically swept her off her feet?

Saphir wanted fate to take him right there and then. She knew his feelings for her and he wanted to die before she rejected him. Her blank stare was enough to tell him that she did not feel the same. His stomach lurched inside of him. Like the butterflies that had been there seconds before were now beasts that tried to claw their way out.

“Saphir, I- I don’t know what do say.” She stuttered, feeling incredibly guilty. Saphir placed a finger on her lips and pulled her close. She awkwardly laid her head on his chest, while he held her for comfort.

“You need say nothing Little One. Just- Just don’t leave. After I am dead you can cruse me all you want. You have no idea what peace you have brought me just by seeing you.” Saphir confessed.

“I don’t think you understand.” Ami said looking up at him. “I have a feeling about you, strong feelings. You make me nervous and yet relaxed. However, I don’t think it’s love. I’m sorry.”

“I would not expect so. you have never met me before now and I have only seen glimpse of your life. However, the impritation has left me with nothing but loving feeling for you.” He glanced down at her. Her hand was on his bare chest. It was freezing cold. Without warning Saphir gasped and clutched at his lower stomach. It felt as if someone was slowly running a knife inside of him. His heart beat in odd ways. It went faster then slower and his breath came in sort gasp. His chest felt numb, if he did not see her hands on his chest he would have never know that they were there. Ami began to ask him what was wrong with him. She mentally yelled at her self for not noticing how pale he was getting through out their conversation. Now, she is going to lose the best love she never had. The worst part was the she’ll never know it either. Saphir knew this was a one-sided love. Even if she was attracted to him, he knew she did not love him, not the way he loved her. However, it was alright.

  
“My time has come Little One.” Saphir wheezed, using much of his strength just to speak. He felt so utterly weak. He could feel the world slipping away. He finally realized in that moment as she called his name on who he would be. He would have been anything she wanted- needed him to be. He would have been her everything. He smiled knowing he found his place in the universe. He knew where he stood in the vase cosmos. It was no Earth, by her side.

  
He left the Earth that moment. With her in his arms and the epiphany on who he was, is, and going to be. Saphir was sure that no man was ever died happier. He had been granted his dying wish. Something his Dark Lord and the Moon Queen could not or did not do. This God had though. He had not only let him see her, but talk to her- confess to her. She knows his feelings. He was also giving the hope that if he had lived through this, she would have been his.  
Saphir closed his eyes for the last time. His dark, midnight eyes will never be seen again by the world again. He faintly

hear her weeping at his untimely death. Saphir gave Ami’s hand one last squeeze, which she returned with much more force then he had.

“Goodbye, Little One. I shall see you in the next life.” He breathed those last words. Ami did not know what to say. She wanted to comfort him and without thinking she told him,

“You are good Saphir! You have a pure heart and in the next life I swear I will find you!”

  
Saphir breathed out one last breath. His hand went limp in hers and that was the end. He barely had time to process what she said, even if he had enough time to answer he he did not know what to say. He felt it was right to leave it at that. If gave him something to look forward to in the next life. He was no longer frightened to die. He embraced the embarkment of his journey, going wherever it will take him next.


End file.
